Sometimes we know things are going to get crazy and knowing that we still decide to jump right in. We all know that sometimes the hardest things bring the biggest “rewards” or that sometimes with tribulation comes beauty. Years ago our family made a covenant to not let ourselves get into the crazy cycle. We aren’t going to allow time to master us, we aren’t going to let sleep deprivation be an excuse, and frankly, we aren’t going to put ourselves into a situation that makes us so weary that it becomes a controlling factor over us. Most of the year we do really well with this but we just know that the beginning and end of the school year calendar is going to be difficult. Yet, rather than change the calendar, we mostly change our heart and mindset. We know it is only a short season and we gear up. We know the storm is coming and that it is only a short season, how do we walk it well?

For us the fall means 2-3 hours of soccer practice every morning for two weeks before school starts then every evening. It means long days of not seeing our kids. It means the boys have homework every night on top of working at school all day. It means going from a schedule of total summer freedom without a care in the world to be busy literally every minute of the day 7 days a week. As hard as this is, fall is also still our all time favorite season. It gives us a fresh launch for new relationships and goals, it brings bow hunting season which is one of our favorite endeavors in life, it ushers in soccer which will always be one of our greatest family dynamics, and so much more. We know that this season also is going to breed hardship. that there will be defeat, blood, tears, and everything in between that isn’t always fun. If we aren’t in the right kingdom dynamic, there will be some backlash. How do we live out theses chaos monsters of life well? Here are some life dynamics that might help:

BE A TEAM

Your family is your God given team, start truly working like one. Often times we have been exposed to great team management skills somewhere on a team, work, or other places; but we haven’t ever transferred that kind of thinking of intentionality and spiritual dynamics to our family. What does it look like to take a day before the storm and prepare? Perhaps a retreat before the storm, talk openly about what is coming and the effects that it will have. Talk about what you are challenged by in these seasons and how people can best come along side you. What is everyone’s strengths and weakness in the chaos? Help each other identify tools to work through things. Maybe you also need some emergency language? Do you have a code for when someone from the family is at a hurt or breaking point? When this happen do you have emergency plans? How do you exhibit grace on grace? Lastly, this shouldn’t just fall on dad, as the front shield (head) of the family or even a co-parenting dynamic, everyone needs to own it.

• Philippians 2:2
• 1 Corinthians 1:10
• Ephesians 4:3
• Romans 12:16

GRACE AND LOVE MUST REMAIN

Establish a mandate that you aren’t going to lower your families bar of Grace and love during the coming storm. Too often it is easy to not be a Christian is turmoil. Be committed to not lowering the bar but actually raining it. Be resilient and committed to help your brothers and sisters better. Maybe there is a simple word to use as a quick course alignment. If you see the family or a person is getting off track or might be stumbling perhaps a gentle kiss, or some other action that shows family support, rea-aligns, goals, and brings people back to your kingdom mission can help. I have found that for this to work everyone has to be regularly reminded of your family’s mission and value of edification over everything. Sometimes this is very difficult. When people aren’t in great places, they often don’t accept good-willed gesture’s, it is something as a family that is going to take some training in. The first time you implement this may not be easy, but as it becomes the muscle memory of your family, I am confident it will show covenant relational success.

• 2 Corinthians 12:9
• Hebrews 4:16
• Matthew 22:37-39
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

INDIVIDUAL AND TEAM UNIFICATION AND GIFTS

It starts individually before the Lord. Each person needs to commit to Jesus first and over everything. Devotions, surrounding yourself with kingdom things, walking with people that share the same dynamics, being of the same mission and heartset. If each person is personally moving in this direction and your family is on the same page, the stars align even during turmoil. When some people are low and feeling defeated, there are some that are willing to lead, be the cheerleaders, encourage, motivate, and restore. That is the great thing about different giftings in a team dynamic. God can use each person individually in huge ways. What are your best gifts? How can you contribute best in the difficult times?

• 1 Corinthians 1:10
• Philippians 2:2
• Colossians 3:14
• Ephesians 4:3

REGULAR HEART TO HEARTS

Mom and Dad (hopefully but there is also a conversation point for single parenting here) you need regular heart to heart checkups with your kids that are grounded in Jesus. Prayer is a great way to do this. Perhaps before the kids leave every day it is a devotional and prayer. Perhaps you text them a prayer every day. Maybe it is a sticky note in their lunch, or a checking at the end of school. Maybe at pickup it is a trip to a park for a 5-minute walk. We trick ourselves into thinking we don’t have time for these things, but the truth is we NEED to make or create the time, and we can and should do it. Maybe we do this with their friends too. I start every soccer practice off with a devotional.

• 1 Thessalonians 5:11
• Hebrews 10:24-25
• Galatians 6:2
• Romans 14:19

SHARE THE LOAD

What are the hard times for each person? Identify this. How can you minister to someone in their chaos or hardship if you don’t know when this is or will be? How do you see it coming? How can each person communicate when they are hurting, exasperated, need time, or space, or just needs help? What can you do to help, to share the load, to ease the burden? Parents, you will never believe how transparency when you are having a hard day helps with your kids, transparency and asking for prayer or help functions as a healthy reset button. It identifies that you need to function as a covenant team and invites peoples help. Sometimes people aren’t in a place to describe how they can be helped? As a family and individuals how do you identify and work through this? How do you keep your communications edifying and acting to build up each other? Sometimes in transitional moments you have time to talk through this. Start planning for intentionality and slow down times strategically built into hectic schedules.

• Philippians 1:3-4
• 1 Timothy 2:1
• Romans 12:15
• Romans 15:1

STAY IN THE WORD

Often times when we get busy, we want to cut our time with Jesus short. That is exactly the opposite of what we should do. Think the other way, create times in adversity and busyness to invite Jesus to the storm. Don’t compromise the word because your life gets busy. Think with a backwards kingdom dynamic. Be committed to being the person that does this in your family.

• 1 Timothy 4:6-16 
• Colossians 2:7
• 1 Corinthians 15:58
• Colossians 4:2

THE SEASON -Biblically and philosophically

There is an appointed time for everything.  And there is a time for every event under heaven

–   Ecclesiastes 3:1

This might surprise you, but the context of this verse has nothing to do with things being predetermined or preordained.  From a Hebrew perspective life is filled with moments when certain actions and responses are called for.  Life isn’t set before you get here.  Your responses, your choices, your actions – and the actions of all the rest of the created order – shape what happens next as we go along.  What you do has eternal consequences. You weren’t born into a responsibility for other people’s actions (the idea of original sin) – God desires you to make regular strategic choices to live for him in every decision.

There is a careful distinction between sovereignty and immutability.  Sovereignty means that God is finally (at the end of it all) in charge.  Nothing usurps His final authority.  But the creation of other moral free agents means that God has purposefully limited His potential total control in order to allow other free agents to choose.  In the end, He will act, but in the meanwhile, we act either with Him or against Him – and our actions change things.  Augustine’s proposal that God simply knows exactly what we will do (our future free will “choices”) from all eternity is wrong.  It is logical Greek philosophy, but it isn’t biblical.

What we do now changes the course of the universe.  The weight of the world rests on our shoulders.  Your choices affect everything else.  They affect you, they affect your family and they affect everyone around you. Because the “plan” isn’t fixed, your choices alter consequences which affect other choices which alter other consequences, and so on. 

Let’s walk this well together! Let’s think strategically about even in the harder times of life we glorify God to our utmost. Let’s consider what that means in covenant together.

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